Tony Ryan is trapped. Trapped into a job he hates in a faceless office in the City of London. Trapped into a marriage he never remembers actually agreeing to. And trapped into a world from which he desperately wants to escape but can't quite manage.

These are the diary notes of Tony Ryan which acts as a prequel to the events in the hilarious hit novel, The Return of The Hippy.

Walking Achilles

Today I am going to leave my wife. Well, maybe not actually today as in walking out the door this very day but this is the day I finally decided I was going to leave. I came to this conclusion whilst I was out walking the dog through the woods, which is where I do all my best thinking. Ah, the dog, when did he arrive? I don’t ever remember the act of ‘Getting a dog’, which I’m sure I should.

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Aussie Rules Relationship Counselling

Today I told Craig about my decision to leave Sam. Craig is the barman at the Dog & Duck, the wine bar across the road from my office. At one point it had been a real London pub. Sawdust on the floor and old men in even older cloth caps. But then The City had grown up around it and now it’s a trendy wine bar frequented by stockbrokers, bankers and Life Coaches.

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Zen Gardens and Gingerbread Men

I’m going to leave my wife. It won’t happen today though as we have the great dog drama to deal with. Achilles is alright, slight concussion the vet says, nothing to worry about. Still enough to warrant Sam’s mother moving in for moral support however. Sam sent me down to Waitrose for some salmon fillets and gingerbread biscuits. The salmon is for Achilles and the gingerbread for Sam’s mother. At least, I think it’s that way round.

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Advanced Stress Relief and Volvos

Today I talked to my therapist about my plan of leaving my wife. She seemed to agree it was a good idea. Although ‘agree’ is always such a nebulous concept with Erica. I think if I posited it looked like a good idea to invade North Korea all by myself armed with only a pineapple and a copy of The Watchtower she would probably still smile and agree my idea had merit and should be explored to see how that made me feel.